Friday, February 7, 2014

See him when I close my eyes

 I don't even know what day I wore this. The week is a blur. 

The inspiration though came from Sept 2013 catalog of J Crew:

 I decided to create this mixing deep red with bordeaux but decided to go mustard on the top. Not quite sure if it worked. Honestly, I am kind of going through the motions when getting dressed these days so it didn't matter.

Cap, Pants, Necklace - J Crew
Top, Jacket - Forever 21
Booties - Steve Madden

Days are a blur this week…
I was doing OK but then as the days go the grief sets in more. There are days I pretty much shed tears throughout the whole day. Everything reminds me of my dad. Everything is a trigger. I hide behind my large sunglasses but the kids are no dummy. Then there are the nights where I lay with wide open eyes staring at the ceiling.  Barely falling sleep when the sun is coming up making me feel ridiculously exhausted when I have to wake up early.
So, I am pretty much getting dressed every other day or every 2 days. Plus we are working like crazy for the past week going through old photos pulling favorites for a big slide show for my dad's 'celebration of life' service this Sunday. Of course looking at photos are the all time trigger. But it is smiles and tears and this vast feeling of gratefulness for all those things we did together.

I do our regular routine with the kids every other day. My wonderful mom and step dad fill in in between. My mom having lost a dad herself gets me 100% which is such a comfort….

On a lighter note, my daughter took the preschool class puppet: 'Winnie' home this week….

1 comment:

  1. There's no avoiding grief and no predicting when it will hit hard. You can only endure it. My sympathies, Daphne; I know what you're going through.

    In time, you may see your grief for what it is -- the depth of love you feel. When you get past the pain, realizing this brings solace.


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